I'm Not Your Inspiration.
I watched this past weekend as Chris Nikic raced in and completed Ironman Florida down in Panama City. In doing so, Chris became the first person with Down Syndrome to complete this grueling 140.6 mile race. As was the case when I raced in Ironman Maryland a number of posts about his story have been shared that include the same old tired ableist tropes like,
“What’s your excuse?”
“If this isn’t motivation to get off my ass, I don’t know what is.”
And of course the tried and true “favorite” of mine, “The only real disability is a bad attitude.”
I know that my opinion within the non-disabled world isn’t popular, but I’m going to say it again. Please STOP using disabled people in this manner. It is so demeaning to all of the work that Chris and other athletes, or musicians, or lawyers, or doctors, or ….. have done. Believe it or not, we are just people, living our lives.
Yes, Chris has helped change attitudes and we need to recognize that, but it wasn’t for YOU! And if it was, keep it to yourself. Because, the more you talk about how much it motivates YOU, the more it helps perpetuate the belief that disabled people doing the same things others do is extra-exceptional. Yes, what Chris did is exceptional, but it’s not because he has Down Syndrome. It’s because of society’s VIEW of people with disabilities. And it’s exceptional because most people don’t race in Ironman triathlons.
As I have shared before many times, I’ve spent a lot of my life dealing with people saying things to me like,
“You’re too small”
“You’re not fast enough”
“You’re not big enough”
“You’ll get hurt”
I heard these things a lot when I was younger, and for a long time, I listened. Those things were often said by people who really cared for me. They were worried for my well-being. I even heard that from a number of people at my university when I applied to the program to become a high school math teacher. My advisors worried that teenagers would try and take advantage of my height and that I might have problems dealing with unruly students. To their knowledge, there had never been a high school teacher with dwarfism. Well I said, “What’s wrong with me being the first?” And here I am in my 31st year of teaching high school.
I am not saying that Chris’s story should not be shared or celebrated. On the contrary, share it and celebrate what he has done. But here is where the respect and attention should be concentrated. Chris has done so much for others with Down Syndrome and for the disability community on the whole. He has shown that he can have a dream, train and prepare and then complete an Ironman triathlon. Something no one like him has ever done before. This is just the start for Chris as I am confident that he’ll do amazing things.
Since I raced in Ironman Maryland and continue to swim, bike and run, I still get messages from families with young children with dwarfism who tell me they’ve shared my story with their own child’s teachers or coaches. They’ve done so, so that others can see that we can do the same things as everyone else, we just might have to do them, a little differently. Those letters and notes mean the world to me.
Or when I get a note from another athlete who struggled in a race and was really thinking about giving up and said to themselves “Be the Hammer” and tells me how they pushed through and finished the race. We all have struggles and challenges and we are here to help each other. It’s the total strangers that see me out there and don’t know who I am or how I got there in life and say, “WOW! If he can do it, I sure can too”. Well no, maybe you can’t.
What we need to do is change the attitudes of people that the disabled community is not here to motivate the general public. We are here to motivate ourselves and change the attitudes of those around us, so that when we go shopping, or out to dinner, or play soccer, or go for a run, or race in a triathlon, people are not AMAZED. They are just happy to see us out there living life and if they want to join us or cheer us on, then great! I truly believe that if we all spend more time racing ourselves, rather than racing others, we’d be in a lot better place. Come and run WITH ME, there’s lots of room!
